What's so fascinating about BJ?
13 May 2014 11:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wren_kt7ozHi everyone
A few weeks ago I posted a bit of a rant in response to something from a blog that I found problematic.
Since then for a couple of reasons I've been going back through old posts and old comments and along the way I found a response that I'd written to someone who asked the question "Is it the illusion of them that we love so much?"
Re-reading my response to that question served as a reminder to me of what I believed at the time (and still believe) to be at the core of why this relationship is so compelling. I thought I'd post it in the hope that it might generate further discussion. All views are welcome as long as they're respectful of the fact that others might see things differently.
"Is it the illusion of them that we love so much?"
I don't think it's an illusion. I think that, for me anyway, a large part of the fascination of the BJ relationship, what enthralls me if you like, is that on a very deep level I see their love affair as a metaphor for the healing power of love.
On the one hand, you have this man who is, inside, such a beautiful soul, but who has been so damaged that the face he presents to the world is one of harshness and anger and alienation; and then into his life comes a beautiful innocent who sees past the outer shell to the inner beauty and who ... not redeems him, but who opens the door to his heart, and sets him free of the pain of his past. Whose love transforms his life.
And on the other hand, you have this innocent boy whom life treats so harshly. He loses his father's love because of who he is; he loses his home; he has to grow up much too soon; he suffers violence and terrible injury; over and again, in many ways, he is the victim of prejudice and spite - but he can bear it all, because he has someone who loves him unconditionally, who believes in him, has faith in his talent and his strength and who wants only the best for him. So with this love in his life, always there to support and encourage him, he not only survives, he triumphs.
Those two threads, are to me the essence of the Brian and Justin story. They are what give it depth and resonance. And a timeless relevance.
All of us want to believe in those things. We want to believe that even for those who seem to have no hope of love in their lives, those who, like Brian, deny even the need for it, yet love can come and can transform their life. We want to believe that we can find someone who sees the past the surface to our inner selves in the way that Justin does for Brian, or who is able to give the sort of love Brian gives to Justin - unconditional, supportive, unselfish. We want to believe in those things for ourselves, and for our children, for our loved ones.
And I would feel life could not be worth living if the belief in those possibilities was an illusion.
That's what fuels my anger with C/L - that's what they threw away. They had the chance to give the world a gay love story with those resonances, that level of depth and relevance, something that took it beyond the "gay" factor and put it right up there with the great romances - and in their ego-centred desire to 'make a statement' they threw all that away to score some minor political points. Talk about pearls before swine.
Anyway, that's my rant for the day over. But it truly is the heart of the way I see BJ - and it's what drives the way I try to write them.
.
A few weeks ago I posted a bit of a rant in response to something from a blog that I found problematic.
Since then for a couple of reasons I've been going back through old posts and old comments and along the way I found a response that I'd written to someone who asked the question "Is it the illusion of them that we love so much?"
Re-reading my response to that question served as a reminder to me of what I believed at the time (and still believe) to be at the core of why this relationship is so compelling. I thought I'd post it in the hope that it might generate further discussion. All views are welcome as long as they're respectful of the fact that others might see things differently.
"Is it the illusion of them that we love so much?"
I don't think it's an illusion. I think that, for me anyway, a large part of the fascination of the BJ relationship, what enthralls me if you like, is that on a very deep level I see their love affair as a metaphor for the healing power of love.
On the one hand, you have this man who is, inside, such a beautiful soul, but who has been so damaged that the face he presents to the world is one of harshness and anger and alienation; and then into his life comes a beautiful innocent who sees past the outer shell to the inner beauty and who ... not redeems him, but who opens the door to his heart, and sets him free of the pain of his past. Whose love transforms his life.
And on the other hand, you have this innocent boy whom life treats so harshly. He loses his father's love because of who he is; he loses his home; he has to grow up much too soon; he suffers violence and terrible injury; over and again, in many ways, he is the victim of prejudice and spite - but he can bear it all, because he has someone who loves him unconditionally, who believes in him, has faith in his talent and his strength and who wants only the best for him. So with this love in his life, always there to support and encourage him, he not only survives, he triumphs.
Those two threads, are to me the essence of the Brian and Justin story. They are what give it depth and resonance. And a timeless relevance.
All of us want to believe in those things. We want to believe that even for those who seem to have no hope of love in their lives, those who, like Brian, deny even the need for it, yet love can come and can transform their life. We want to believe that we can find someone who sees the past the surface to our inner selves in the way that Justin does for Brian, or who is able to give the sort of love Brian gives to Justin - unconditional, supportive, unselfish. We want to believe in those things for ourselves, and for our children, for our loved ones.
And I would feel life could not be worth living if the belief in those possibilities was an illusion.
That's what fuels my anger with C/L - that's what they threw away. They had the chance to give the world a gay love story with those resonances, that level of depth and relevance, something that took it beyond the "gay" factor and put it right up there with the great romances - and in their ego-centred desire to 'make a statement' they threw all that away to score some minor political points. Talk about pearls before swine.
Anyway, that's my rant for the day over. But it truly is the heart of the way I see BJ - and it's what drives the way I try to write them.
.
